Externalising "Temper"

This technique, from narrative therapy allows the young person to look at how anger may have begun to function in their life as a coping mechanism, to evaluate its effects in their life now and to think about how they can keep it at bay when they choose to. 

As the practitioner you can help the young person to externalise their anger by asking them to think about it as if it had its very own identity and personality, inviting the young person to describe their anger in a language and way that has meaning for them. Depending on the preferences of the young person, they might describe their anger as an object: noticing its shape, form, texture, colour and temperature. This serves to consolidate their anger or an anger-related problem as separate from them as a person.  You can then guide the young person in exploring and understanding their relationship with anger. This includes identifying and locating the source of any shame and stigma associated with their anger, which can also be dealt with as something separate to the young person. 

Young people who have struggled with anger in the past can get into the habit of labelling themselves as an “angry kid.” This makes positive change more difficult as the label becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is much easier to address anger as an issue you struggle with, then try and change your identity. Externalising techniques help the young people move away from the unhelpful narrative of “angry kid” so they can begin to identify with a more positive self-identity thus empowering them to make positive changes. 

Rather than being something wrong with them, each young person can understand how their problems related with anger have developed. For example, young people who have experienced early childhood trauma can come to understand how it has impacted on their ability to regulate their emotions. This understanding can liberate a young person from unhelpful shame and stigma.  Further, it puts the focus on the real issue that the young person can take steps to deal with. It also might help them understand how others in their family have struggled to manage their anger constructively. This helps the individual to be a more dispassionate, kind and gentle observer of their own anger and the anger of others.