Session 12

Emotional abuse is a non-physical pattern of abusive behaviour, this behaviour is often used to control, isolate and punish another person by using humiliation, and undermining the other’s sense of self. We are also including threats and intimidation within this although these are sometimes considered as a category of their own. They are all included in the broader group of behaviours referred to as coercive and controlling.

If someone has used violence in an intimate relationship, it is very likely that they are also using emotionally abusive behaviour. It is not uncommon for people to have a narrow view of what is abusive behaviour in close relationships, often focusing on the physical abuse. It is important for all YP to have broader definition of abuse so they can identify what this pattern of behaviour looks like. Emotionally abusive behaviours as well as being damaging in their own right, can lead to increasingly toxic behaviours within intimate relationships and an escalation towards physical violence.

Women’s Aid states that physical violence in a relationship does not happen in isolation and is in fact part of a larger strategy of power, control and physical harm. Emotionally abusive behaviour involves controlling the other person’s feelings by causing mental anguish and trauma. This can be done by using abusive language or other actions towards the other person with the intent to scare, humiliate, threaten, or belittle them, and this can present itself in various ways. Emotional abuse can have a detrimental and ongoing impact on the mental and physical wellbeing of the person that it is being directed towards. It largely attacks their character and breaks down that person’s confidence, self-worth and self-esteem.

Under the terms of Section 1 (1)(2) of the Domestic Abuse and Civil Proceedings Act (NI) 2021, emotionally abusive behaviour is a criminal offence. While it is not advisable to quote this act directly YP in the session, you as the practitioner should bear the legislation in mind when holding conversations around what emotional abuse is during the exercises.