What is Jealousy?

Primary emotions are our first reaction to something and are usually quite intense. Primary emotions are the body’s first response, and they are usually very easy to identify because they are so strong. The most common primary emotions are fear, happiness, sadness, and anger. Primary emotions are adaptive because they make us react a certain way without being contaminated or examined. They are very much an instinctual, primal, survival response. Primary emotions are more transient than secondary emotions which is why they are less complicated and easier to understand. The first thing we feel is directly connected to the event or stimulus but as time passes, we struggle to connect the same emotion with the event because our emotions have changed.

Secondary emotions are much more complex because they often refer to the feelings we have about the primary emotion. These are learned emotions which we get from our parent(s) or primary care givers as we grow up. For example, when we feel angry we may feel ashamed afterwards or when we feel joy, we may then feel relief or pride. The reason that secondary emotions usually aren’t helpful is that they cover up what we really feel and send confusing signals to the outside world about what we need. If feeling fear is a person’s primary reaction to something but they have been conditioned to feel ashamed about this then they might feel angry about feeling afraid. Anger would be the secondary emotion in this instance. The fear remains hidden and often remains an unmet need because anger is the emotion being expressed.

This session explores with the YP the concept of jealousy as a secondary emotion.