Is It or Isn't It?
This session is aimed at helping YP explore the concept of consent. Teenagers can feel incredible pressure to have sex before they are ready to and there is often a misconception that “everybody is doing it.” Society perpetuates the myth that maleness, masculinity and sexual success are the same thing. Men who are considered high status in peer groups are generally those who are considered to have more sexual or physical success. This is routinely mirrored in the media, in films like American Pie or The Girl Next Door and many other teen comedies.
On the other hand, there is a double standard that becomes apparent with young women as they are not routinely celebrated for having lots of sexual partners and in fact can experience a considerable degree of stigma and shame if they do. All these societal messages can lead to YP believing that sex and sexual contact is something that young men should initiate, push for and complete often and that young women should do their best to resist such advances. For these reasons it’s important to teach both young men and women about consent. Young women may feel that if they have not directly said “no” or pushed the other person away then they have allowed sex to happen even though they did not want to. This can cause the greatest amount of pain when a YP feels they haven’t done enough to prevent sex from happening. This is why it is necessary to teach both about positive consent and help young people to have more direct conversations about sex so that they can keep themselves and the other person safe by ensuring they have enthusiastic consent before they proceed.
- To build on consent work and increase understanding of sexual coercion
- To encourage sexually respectful behaviour in relationships
- For the YP to recognise what sexually harmful behaviour is
- For the YP to understand that healthy relationships do not involve pressuring others or exploiting situations for sex
- For the YP to choose to be sexually respectful in their relationships
In exploring sexual consent and situations involving sexual violence or abuse, you should be mindful that this may be triggering for some YP some will have experienced sexual violence or abuse themselves.
If you are working alone with the YP you can discuss this directly with them. If you are working in a group, you should create an opportunity for YP to let you know about this. You may wish to use the “Ask it Basket” for this, giving each YP a Post-it note to write whether they feel this subject has affected them directly. Ask them to include their name on the top so you can follow up with them.
If when checking the Post-its you do see any that require a follow-up, you can set a break or an activity task and ask the YP to help you give put up the cards needed for the next session so you can speak to them directly but discreetly.
