Boundary Spider Diagram
In this session you will be exploring what personal boundaries are and why they are an important part of healthy relationships and self-care. The material can be used as a prevention session, but it can also be used with YP who are already experiencing issues around boundaries in their relationships or friendships or are vulnerable to exploitation.
An important way for any of us to take care of ourselves is to set strong and healthy boundaries around us which help to protect our physical and emotional safety. It is like a line around us which separates us as a person from other people and helps us define what is and isn’t acceptable to us individually.
It can be helpful to think of personal boundaries in the same way that people think of boundaries to a property. The boundary line of a property protects the physical space within. In the same way personal boundaries protect the core of the person and help us maintain our sense of self.
It’s important to learn boundary setting during adolescence because it is a time of identity formation. If a YP allows their peers, family members, or other adults to make them feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, disrespected, or unworthy, it is important to teach them how to set boundaries that will help them feel better about themselves and more confident of who they are.
A healthy relationship is one where we can express what our boundaries are, and where this is listened to and respected. YP need to know that they have the right to say no to things which make them feel uncomfortable and that they are not responsible for how that may make someone feel.
- To consider how boundaries can vary across different relationships.
- For the YP to learn that they you can have softer boundaries with people they know and trust and tougher boundaries with others
- For the YP to reflect on whether any changes need to be made to their current relationship boundaries
- To introduce the idea that we can have different boundaries in relation to different concepts such as space, time or physical touch
A YP is likely to complete the rigid spider diagram with people they don’t know well or people that have hurt them or been mean to them in the past. This would be an appropriate place to have rigid boundaries.
A YP may have more porous boundaries with family members and people they know well. They may feel that this is appropriate, or they may feel that they need to move to more healthy boundaries on reflection.
You may feel it more helpful to have the YP consider their boundary relationships in light of physical boundaries only or time or emotions. They can complete separate diagrams for each if they want to, or they could use different colours for different types of boundaries.
